Butter Flies

Time, it ticks by in seconds... when you want it to move. it seems to not exist when you want to saver the moment. A change is fast approaching (positive thinking) I don't especially recall the first time I went to university, I remember waiving goodbye to my mother as she drove away crying, my face was also wet. The sky was really blue, and the breeze was slight and relaxing, however, I felt so hollow and wound up inside. however, this time is different, I have ventured back and forth from campus many times, its become a home to me.
Going back, to the people, good impressions and bad. To the education I went there for. To the place in my life like any other, full of pain, and smiles, laughter, tears, growth, recession, learning, and education. Back to being broke, scared, overworked, and never paid, to working towards something that is considerably less then concrete.
I'm scared, I do not want to fail again, I'm concerned that this isn't the program for me. That I'm never going to complete anything.


However, the power of positive thinking, I will go and complete a degree, and be successful in something I enjoy. However, I am also leaving something, in this short a time I've impacted lives, Ive made friends, i've altered the life around me. "Home" has been re-evaluated, and re-defined once again.
The work place I'm in now is shit, no one really likes it. That being said, the people, stuck working together, somehow have found a way into my heart. A few in particular stand out, and will remain my friends, I hope.

I hate that my step dad drinks, hes talking now, trying to make himself seem more then he is, he sounds pathetic, and I hate using that word. thats his word, he calles people pathetic to bring himself up from the level of shit he is. When hes sober, not hitting on me, not co-orsing my sister to sleep with him, and when hes not a total ass I can understand why my mother is with him (almost) however, that is a very small majority of the time. I am frusterated. I am going to go shower, and then sleep.